Black Men and ‘Jumping the Broom’

Black Men and ‘Jumping the Broom’
by Leroy Barber 06-22-2011
In one of my last blog posts on God’s Politics, I had some pretty strong opinions on the negative comments made by Bernard Hopkins about Donovan McNabb implying that McNabb was not “black enough.” This week I would like to highlight the other side of the issue by praising Bishop T.D. Jakes and the film Jumping The Broom. My wife and I go see a lot of films, and we enjoy dissecting them afterward. This week we decided to go see this one, produced by T.D. Jakes. I must say I was very skeptical going into the film for reasons I won’t go into now, and while the film was not life changing and had a few scenes that were a stretch, I thought, overall, the way it characterized black men was refreshing. There was a positive image of black men throughout the film that is very rarely seen in Hollywood. The film also covered a number of diverse issues in the black community with grace and dignity.

I left the film feeling like the black men who love their families, treat their wives well, and even sacrifice for others were given a voice in the film — a rare treat for sure. The film was not full of buffoonery or thugs; it captured an essence of black culture that I feel gets overlooked in many cases. The film presented some hard issues with care. It did not answer hard questions, but it did leave room for dialogue.

I have seen better films, and experienced much greater acting performances. I have left theaters in tears some nights and in rage on others. I have felt embarrassed some evenings at the way black men were portrayed, but rarely have I left feeling fulfilled. This film touched a a good part of my soul. If you get the chance, go check it out. If you have never seen black men portrayed in this way, go see it. If you have never seen a positive image of yourself, go see it. If you need to change your image, let this movie get you on the right path.

Thanks, Bishop Jakes.

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The Old Black Church!: Jack & Jill Of America A Well-To-Do Blacks Organi...: "Jack and Jill of America, a social organization for black families, celebrated its 70th anniversary In 2008, ...But the organization is not ..."

Letter from a college student

Letter from a college student
The other day, a friend of mine visited me in the lobby of my dorm just to chat while her laundry was drying. As we were chatting, two young
freshmen came by. One of the 2 boys wanted to 'talk' to my friend (as in date). She asked him how old they were, and both of the boys replied 18. My
friend and I both laughed hysterically because we are both 22 years old.
After my friend left, the young men were still hanging around and one wanted to know how he could gain her interest.
The first thing I told him to do was to pull up his pants! He asked why, and then said he liked saggin' his pants. I told him to come over to my
computer and spell the word saggin'. Then I told him to write the word saggin' backwards..
S-A-G-G-I-N...
I told him the origin of that look was from centuries ago. It was the intent of slave owners to demoralize the field workers by forbidding them
to wear a belt as they worked in the fields or at any other rigorous job. In addition, men in prison wore their pants low when they were 'spoken for'. The
other reason their pants looked like that was they were not allowed to have belts because prisoners were likely to try to commit suicide.
And, saggin' pants prevents you from running.
We as young Black people have to be the ones to effect change. We are dying. The media has made a mockery of the Black American.
Even our brothers and sisters from Africa don't take us seriously. Something as simple as pulling up your pants and standing with your head held
high could make the biggest difference in the world's perception of us. It is time to do right by ourselves. We need to love and embrace each other. No
one is going to do that for us.
It all comes down to perception. What people perceive is what reality to them is. We have to change not only the media's perception of us,
but we need to change our perception of ourselves.
Remember all eyes are on you Black Man. All eyes are on you Black Woman. All eyes are on your Black Child . People point the finger at
us and expect us to engage in negative and illegal activities, to manifest loud, boisterous behavior, to spend our hard earned money in their stores,
buying goods we don't need, or really want.. We have allowed not only the media, but the government and the world to portray us as a 'sub-culture.
' They have stripped our culture down to the point where the image of Black people is perpetuated as rappers, athletes, drug users, and consumers of
junk food, expensive tennis shoes, expensive cars, expensive TVs, cell phones and not investing in homes for our families.
We are so much more!!!!!!!
To all our Black Men: It's time to stand up. There are billions of Black Women who want to do nothing more than worship the ground
that you walk on. We are so in love with your potential. We want to have your back, we want to love, support and cherish every ounce of your being.
But with that you have to show that you are willing to be the head of our households. You have to prove yourselves worthy of our submission. We need
you to be hard working...Not a hustler. We need you to seek higher education, to seek spirituality. We need you to stand! And trust us; we will have
your back. We know that it gets hard. We know you get weary. Trust and believe that there is nothing that a Black Man and a Black Woman can't
handle with GOD on their side.
FTLM

Black College Leaders Meet to Discuss Challenges

Black College Leaders Meet to Discuss Challenges

Stories about Fathers pt.III

Frans' Story

"My x-wife and i were happy for 20 years and then we met in 1987. She came from an abusive and poor family and she has been struggling with an underlying anxiety since. We were so happy until we had out first son born 1994, then together for 7 years. We started with nothing and I built a successful business making tons of money. We disagreed on bringing my son up and she was overprotective, hopefully insecure and her childhood anxiety overwhelming her protective nature.

In turn, i have always been thrown into the deep end, having to swim even in the toughest circumstances. I was ambitious and my ex-wife is placid.

Her reasoning ability was lacking and she would drive around at night to put my son to sleep, which obviously frustrated me. She was from Portuguese decent and I am a boertjie. I then had a fell out with her family in 1995. My first divorce letter came 1997 when we went to the Maldives and upon my return i got served divorce papers. Realising that the law is prejudiced against fathers, I decided to do whatever I could to rescue the family and keep it together. I realised that I was to lose my son and all the money i worked for.

I gave up my business and moved far away from her family, to Cape Town until 2004 when I bought a few properties for development. Being close to her family again the trouble started and she started to move out of the home. During this time she turned my son then 10 years old, against me by telling him untruths about his father and bad mouthing me. We visited a psychologist, needless to say the most unprofessional psychologist, at the beginning 2005 and he reported that my son was a bit scared of his dad.

We finally reached an amicable settlement agreement mid November 2005 and a week later my ex-wife applied for a protection order (which includes the children) upon which an interim protection order was granted (I don't know how). I got locked up a week later because i took my own car keys out of her hand (the car is incidentally unlicensed). I sat in jail for three days. What a nice December holiday! My ex-wife took the kids on holiday for the rest of the month.

Oh yes, before I forget, we stayed in properties back to back from each other. So in 2006 we become friends again and I had girlfriends visiting me. She in turn got fed-up with our three boys as they were busy bees being 2, 4 and 11 years of age.

In her testimony delivered in court she openly tells the "hang judge" magistrate that she planned the divorce many years before, unbeknown to me.

At the end of 2006 she fell in love with the worst guy you can imagine with a history of violence. The children had free access to both properties and I kept a great relationship with my boys, needless to say that when the guy suddenly visits the mother the children got so confused that they didn't know what was happening, especially the smaller boys. The new guy in her life then wants me out of the way as he realises that my ex-wife used to visit me all the time while he was dating her. I did not know they were dating and she told me he was merely a platonic friend.

The new guy the got terribly jealous and stopped the children from visiting me from January 2007. The children should have been able to visit me according to the high court order. Then my ex-wife started phoning the police when the children visited me and laying false charges to have me locked up because of the protection order.

I kept a detailed diary from the beginning January 2007 when the new guy moved into her home with the children. He then started to order them around and the children resented his bossy attitude. I was furious that my ex-wife allowed such an abusive guy into her home.

I then applied for protection of my children against the new boyfriend but my ex-wife was on a mission to lock me up after I enquired into the history of the new guy and he had indeed been abusive - he was psychotic and had a real history of violence . The police favoured the ex-wife and refused to take any charges from me as my children stayed with me most of the time. She then layed more false charges which were later "nulli prosecuted". I had to approach the high commissioner to have the irritating investigator taken off my case. In the mean time I had madee some friends high up and became more dedicated to get custody of my children.

I obtained excellent psychological reports that put all the pieces together and proceeded wih my high court application for custody.

A few months later I took a shot in the dark and went to court. I was given interim custody of my 12 year old son who was staying with me, and it was made an order of the High Court.

A futher 4 months later I gained interim custody of all three of my boys aged 3, 5 and 13 and they are now staying with me.

This is proof that you can gain custody of your children with a standing even with a protection order in place between father and children.

My suggestions:

keep a detailed diary and compile your stuff professionally.
get one good attorney and stay with him
build as many contacts as you can, don't back off from the police
You will need to dish out some punches to be respected, including SSR, police, magistrates, etc.
Make sure your children understand and don't let the mother bribe the children, you should just be "a safe heaven" for the children.
stay away from social workers!
Don't trust anyone...
Remember, it's a paper war!
download the acts and laws from the net and study them, know your rights.
It's not called a custody BATTLE for nothing.