What is courtship? Courtship is a relationship between a
man and a woman that seeks to honor God above all. It is a season of
getting to know each other while keeping a high standard of purity.
Courtship, unlike dating is initiated with the full intention of
marriage as the result. Both the guy and the girl are aware of this
even before they start the courtship process. Therefore, it is not a
relationship that is meant to be taken lightly. The parents and
families of both the guy and girl are almost always involved and serve
as a means of accountability and direction. Not all courtships are the
same. There are no set guidelines on how to approach this. You simply
trust that the Lord has it all planned out.
Based on all the courtship books I've read, and based on real life
stories from couples who have gone this route, I will further explain
the process for those of you who have never heard of this concept
before.
I have already stated before in a previous post that it is not our job
to look for a spouse. If we trust God completely and have handed Him
the pen of our love story, then He will take care of it all. All we
have to do is wait for His perfect timing. As a women, it is not your duty
to initiate anything. This is the role God gives to the man.
When a man feels ready both spiritually and practically to get married,
he will seek the Lord's guidance and wisdom to lead him to his future
wife. Hopefully, he will be seeking the advice of God and his parents
or an older believing couple before initiating anything with the woman.
After the initiation comes a season of getting to know each other in an
environment that is free of temptation. Most likely, this will mean that
the couple will be spending lots of time with each others' families in
fellowship. It is important that the couple is completely honest with
each other and does not put on a false mask for the other person.
Unfortunately, this is where dating almost always fails. The couple
spend too much time alone together and focuses on the physical aspect of
the relationship rather than on getting to know each other's true
character. It is too easy to pretend to be someone you're not in order
to impress that person. This cannot happen during a courtship because
the couple spends time doing everyday things and hanging out with each
others' families. There will never be a time when the couple is truly
alone. Yet there will be plenty of opportunities to talk, but friends
and family will always be close by.
Some couples choose to hold hands throughout
the process, while others commit to a completely no-touch courtship.
There are also those who decide to save their first kiss for their
engagement rather than wait for the marriage altar. But both physical
and emotional purity are nearly always upheld.
The beauty of courtship is that it seeks to glorify God. Both the man
and the woman are committed to keeping themselves pure, just as Christ
commanded to do in His Word.
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of
any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's
holy people.~Ephesians 5:3 (NIV)
The last and most beautiful part of courtship is when the man asks the
woman to be his wife. This is also approached with much prayer. It is
important to add that most courtships are short. They shouldn't last
more than one or two years simply because the temptation to lower your
standards and compromise your purity can creep in.
When you do things God's way, He will bless you!
For those of you who don't think courtship is possible in this day and
age, or who are simply curious to see a real life example, I invite you
to check out these blogs by couples who are currently in a courtship or
who were in a courtship and are now married...
to see more go to:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FTLM/
