When was the last time you truly listened to someone?
I’m not talking about the listening that you do as you jot
down your shopping list, or the listening that you do while you prepare what
you are going to say in response. Rather I’m speaking about the experience of
listening to someone without any distractions or any impatience. Listening with
the express purpose of bearing witness to their story.
Can you remember how you felt the last time you really
listened? Can you remember how you felt the last time someone really
listened to you?
There is something about being heard that fulfills a
deep-seated human need for connection. And it seems to go both ways: the
experience of telling someone vivid stories about our life changes us, and it
changes the perspective of the person listening.
When I set off to do a paper on “Why We Can’t Wait” by Dr.
King, I did a huge amount of research
into the oral history tradition. In particular, I became somewhat obsessed with
the work Dr. King and with the man himself. In all his books, and his
interviews, I got the sense that he loved people, That he listened to them with genuine
interest and fascination. Somehow his very presence allowed people to open a
floodgate within themselves, and it allowed him to write books that became
portraits of the human condition.
Dr. King witnessed stories that too often remained unspoken,
or overlooked. He spoke to people who I imagine saw their lives as too mundane
or unmemorable to be of interest to the outside world, and he unearthed a
vivid, captivating wealth of stories within each of them.
Seeing as we
are in the season of gift-giving, can you think of someone in your life who you
can give the gift of listening? We all lead
extraordinary human lives, we all have stories that are waiting to be told.
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